Just One Of Those Things

wat's up man.. i'm feelin this sorta vexed, pent up kinda emotion and i'm not sure wat it is anyway. feels like pms man. fuck, i am disoriented up here this night. something's seriously wrong with me cos i've never had this kinda since god knows when. wat feeling? i really dunno either. but i guess alot of ppl out there have this sorta unexplained emo shit within them and i tell u it is pretty burdensome.

perhaps i should go take an early nap now and just sleep it all away. tsk, feelin abit fucked up. i needa rave. i needa rant, i needa get it out of my system before it does more serious damage. it's a waste none in the family are councellors, psychiatrists and wat not. i could use their help really~ fuck man fuck, even the music aint helping. i dun seem to be enjoyin it..

seems dat there's limited music on my comp and my cds.. oh i was pretty tired today, didnt catch much winkshut and wat the fuck man, younger brothers are fucked up irritating scum of the earth i swear. so i sound a little incoherent but yea i dun care. i didnt turn up for mervyn's gig cos i slept throughout the afternoon after lesson rite till the night. fuck. it was gonna be a new repertoire but i missed it.

i need to talk to someone but i dunno who. i just feel like burying myself up, stay 6 feet under till i'm satisfied with life down there. maybe one day, i'd go to sleep and remain in sleep for good~ i think dat's a very very gd idea~ sleep is good~ uninterrupted~

yea i need someone.. someone to talk to. someone i can trust. there arent many of these kinds of folk around. i jolly well know who are true to heart and who are the traitors who wun hesitate to stab u in the back when u turn around. comes a point in time where u can trust noone but yourself. you dun know who's got hidden agendas up their sleeves. you dun know who'd betray ur trust the moment they can. well, younger brothers, sometimes they are fucked up, but at least they still bother to ask u wat you want when they go down to the 7-11 store down the road. fuck lah fuck lah.. i sound like gibberish, gobbledegook, drivel, crap, bs watever..

fuck this fuck dat. i wish my life was a different one. i wish i was a plant or sumthin.. those guys dun have souls, they neednt feel anything~ so am i failure in life? well, in certain areas yes. in others i'm the king no doubt bout dat~ so wats it like to fail so hard u cant crawl up again? or wats it like to be king of the world with no one daring to go against u? wats it like to feel a stab to the heart? wats pain like? wat does blood look like? wat does the heart look like? how does the heart feel pain when nothin cuts it up? wat the fuck.. *check* noo, i'm still feelin like this!!! wats fuckin wrong with me man... i needa scream, i needa someone to scream at.. who's willing?

doubt so...