A Brand New Makeover

just came back home not too long ago from Yamaha at Plaza Singapura. met Wirdani on the bus to orchard from the choa chu kang interchange. the girl was going back home after givin tuition. surprisingly she stays at teck whye, opposite my former block before i shifted to Bukit Panjang few years ago.

Had the sax checked again because of leaks. was pretty pretty bad.. horrible. i found out why. it was the cork used to close the Bb, B, C# and G# tone holes which were the cause of the disalignment of the key cups. i'm never gonna use those bottle cork again. basket, caused a hell lot of leaks on my sax. dammit.

Desmond the tech on duty there was really good~ he knows his stuff man~ within a few minutes he had restored the sax one dat had great feel an an ease of achieving the low notes. Low Bb pops out so easily now and so does low B and C# and C. now the sax a beauty to play with~ not only have i fixed the leaks, i've also changed the entire sound by adding an epoxy baffle to the Lebayle~ rite now, i've got a sound dat is extremely bright and brilliant. it screams~ this sax can cut thru electric guitars and stuff~ all i need is to give the sax a thorough clean and powder the pads and dat's it~ the horn is one helluva horn~

the baffle was done by Boon Chye. the guy's a master man~ the baffle he made was so even and all it was like just solid stuff. it's so difficult to do one and the risk of screwin up is really high but he really made it work~ i'm happy with the result~ i was just playin 'careless whisper' on the comp and man, i sound as bright as the fella playin the solo! amazing stuff~ i can play a really rock, pop and fusion set up with this. the mp might be a little to bright but i can counter dat with darker reeds. Boon Chye's pretty excited at how the mp will play. it's gonna be permanently fixed inside the mouthpiece. i might try to file it down a little to give it a sorta rollover baffle instead of a sharp step baffle.. dat way the sound will travel more gradually~ i dunno.. i might not even temper with the thing lest i screw it up very badly. then i can only blame myself.

King Cobra

Yes, i have a king cobra in my house. in fact it's just like less than 4 ft away from where i am sitted here typing these words. it's black with scales of cos. but it's dead and in a horlicks jar. with preserving liquid of cos. looks dat gross. like wat you'd get in those weird medical stores where they have snake wine dat kinda thing? where they have a large variety of venomous snakes all in one jar and they pour it out for u to drink?? YUCKS. anyway, i've been stayin away from alcohol and stuff~ pretty good~ i dun find alcohol very enticing these days~

There's Just NOT ENOUGH Time

Was talkin to qinyun about just how little time we have in our lives. And will there ever be enough time to do all the things you wanna do? well, guess dat depends. Some ppl wanna do more things than others. like me. i wanna master the sax, then on to the flute and piccolo, pursue music abroad, perform on the world stage, work with jazz big shots, do some event plannin like jazz festivals, produce records dat kinda thing. now dat's really a hell lot.

so will i ever be able to do all the things i wanna do? well, perhaps i could, perhaps. but at the end of the day, it doesnt matter whether i'd manage to do these things at all, i think more so i've strived towards achieving them. i dun have much time. most of us dun.

i think in order to do all or most of the things u wanna do in life, as usual, you make sacrifices. i actually sacrificed a cruise in order to attend my sax lessons. my parents think dat's madness and somehow i think they arent too happy with my decision but they arent pissed either. they think i'm obsessed with my obsession. fancy givin up a (once in a blue moon these days) family holiday for sax, man i think anyone would regard me as crazy too.

well there is dat fine line betw passion and obsession. i'd like to think dat i'm passionate about my passion instead of the other way. ya sure i might do things to the extreme like give up outings and holidays, or i might forget to have my meals or sumthin, but the thing is, at this age, i just dun have the time anymore to sit back and relax. the faster i master the sax, the earlier i get to do things i previously cant do with others.

i know, it's definitely not easy for me to stay focused for such long periods of time and i do struggle with laziness, other temptations which break my focus etc, which is why i can take really drastic measures to keep myself in check. it's like sayin, hey i dun see the need to go out and get hitched, get married and procreate, no i dun see the need. ok marriage again, far fetched lah at this age. talk about stuff like r/s, yea hell i do have natural desires to wanna be with someone i can embrace and cuddle, and many a times i've kept suppressing the feelins and all. it's definitely not easy but well, if it's gonna be keepin me focused, then it's necessary i believe.

at my age now, in the next 5-10 years, i cant afford to let the slightest bit of disturbance break my focus. if not, very sadly, i'd always be stucked at ground zero and no, my life's not gonna get anyway at ground floor, no. i firmly believe in being successful with my life and my career first before i think about taking more responsibilities upon my shoulder. i've a life to be accountable for. dat's my own life. if i cant even make dat right and be responsible for myself, then wat right have i to share any r/s with someone? dat's even more responsibility. am i ready for it? no i dun think so. i am not. i can only be greatly responsible for one thing at a time in my life. too many, and i'd fall apart. i know myself extremely well.

somehow or rather i've been gettin quite a number of ppl tellin me dat yea but u cant predict wat will happen in the future and dat yea it's wrong of u to think about r/s and marriage dat way etc etc. well, i know they are concerned but really, i think i know myself much better than anybody and yes the advice is good but it is not the right advice for me at least at this point in time. so i'd appreciate if ppl see my point about remainin single for a gd long period.

if you're happy in a r/s gd for u, i wish u well and i wish u happiness. as for me, my happiness lies somewhere else and i know where to find it. I do know many great ppl who have been single all their lives and have done great things. And were happy doing them. were they wrong not to settle down and start a family? no, i seriously think not. settling down is not their greater mission in life i think. as for me, i know wat my greater purpose in life is. and i wanna do dat. i know i'll be happy performing, playing, entertaining and inspiring ppl. i'd be happy if my talents can really touch ppl, make them pursue their dreams, make them happy. i find great purpose in dat. i honestly look forward to the day where i can stand in front of a gazellion audience and just entertain them.

so dat's why, i dun have much time left. and i wanna make the best use of it. my methods may not be conventional. no, they may even be labelled heretic but hey it works for me~ at the end of the day, i wanna earn my parents' respect and make them proud of me. i want all my frens and acquaintences to remember me as someone great and influential. i want them to remember me for going against all odds in life to pursue wat i wanna do and emerge from the fire, forged stronger than ever before. i want them to see me as a rebel, a radical, a firm believer in myself and of cos a higher being. i want ppl to see me as an example of success and perseverence, of someone they can be proud to call a son, a brother, a fren.

Dat my frens, is my great purpose in life :)

Saxophonically yours,
Ben~