A Sacrifice? Nah, Call It Love ;)

Just wanna start by saying dat i had a somewhat mixed weekend.. :) In a good way of cos! It's like having to choose between 2 good things.. Which do you choose? The one you want to have or the one that you need to?

So i was kinda caught up in a situation like this. Yesterday morning there was the Relationship and Romance seminar. And i really wanted to go, however sometime back, i had already missed the registration. I learnt on wed or thur that there was gonna be a drama performance this weekend during svc, so in a sense, i was quite happy cos i didnt have to pay for it and yet end up not being able to attend.. :) Turned out to be some sorta 'blessing in disguise'.

HOWEVER, i'm still sore that i couldn't make it for the seminar either way.. hahaha! So disappointing. And next week, i will be missing the men's meeting with Pst Phil as well because i will be away on a mission trip to KL to do the same Marriage series drama which we had some weeks ago. So, another disappointment which i have gotten over already cos i'm prepared to go on a mission!

I have never been so physically worn out serving in drama ministry before.. in fact since Asia Conf last year, my service with the drama team has by far exceeded the amount of service i have done in music ministry. And dat's a first for me, because never in my whole life in church has this sort of thing ever happened. Now, easter will be dat icing on the cake and i know i am gonna be very very very tired at the end of it :)

But guess wat! I learnt a lot in service today :D Valuable teachings from Pst K~ And one of the things i caught was this 'sacrificial' mindset.. about getting caught up in thinking dat everything we do or say or wat not is such a sacrifice. This and that and everything else is such a sacrifice bla bla bla.. going to church is such a sacrifice, attending CG is such a sacrifice, having to go to Expo when i live in Jurong, or going to Jurong when I live in the airport.. IS SUCH A SACRIFICE.. SERVING IN CHURCH AND IN THE MISSION FIELD AND MISSING OUT ON THE ROMANCE SEMINAR AND MEN'S MEETING.... IS SUCH A SACRIFICE!!!!!!!

Dat in bold btw, is the 'Taker' in me trying its best to emerge... Hahaha! HOWEVER, i love it! I love serving in the drama team, doing wat i know best :) To me, it's a tough job, but hey i really enjoy doing it :) Like wat Pst said, if everything you do feels like a sacrifice and you can't enjoy it, you will dry up.. and some even die out ;P

Sometimes the taker in us will always put thoughts in our mind.. "Oh man why do i have to serve again this week?? didnt i just serve the past week? and the week before!? Why again?! Why can't i just rest and go out with my CG members after svc?? Wah, serve in expo, then still must go to JW to serve... Sianz..."

All of us at one point or another in life will inevitably have thoughts like dat which come to us :) And i feel that it is a matter of balancing, of prioritizing in life. If you have been serving for so long and you feel dat an area in ur life is being neglected because of the circumstances which your ministry has put u in, then i would recommend you take a short break, or get a replacement if u can. You can't be serving 24/7 of cos.. you need time to devote to other areas in your life too :)

The point is, if you start having these kinda thoughts about sacrificial sacrifice creeping into your head, and start getting dat kinda pitiful syndrome, then it's gonna affect your LOVE for the ministry :) Before it comes to dat point, it needs to be dealt with :) And taking a temporary time out, could prove beneficial indeed.

For me, do i feel 'sick' having to serve week in and week out? Well, honestly, sometimes it feels dat way.. at the expense of missing out on seminars, meetings, fellowship etc etc.. But, i always bring my focus and perspective back to God :) And i know dat wat i'm doing has great reward and consequence in the future. Knowing these truths helps me to enjoy doing wat i do even if it means being 'unhappy' sometimes ;)

And dat's the 'Giver' in me. Seeking to benefit others at the expense of my self, even to the point of being unhappy about it :) To put things into my perspective, let me give u an idea of where i'm coming from:

I play drums in music ministry and i play recorded music/sfx for drama productions :)

One is a forefront role, the other is a backstage role :)
Both roles are HOTSEATS :) Dat means i can make or break a service by the way i serve. Play a wrong beat, wrong song, push the wrong button at the wrong time, fade the wrong fader, yeah u name it.. it will jeopardize a service :) Can you imagine Jesus's crucifixion scene and "This Is Your Saviour" is blasting loudly while the soldiers are whipping Him and putting Him on the cross, the people are crying and mocking.. AND SUDDENLY, i hit the wrong button by mistake and the music STOPS! ................

DEAD SILENCE

Can you imagine who would be the next one crucified? Yeah ;) You can be sure i got a whole line of people each waiting with nails to nail me on the cross.


So yeah anyway, sometimes you never get the credit or the recognition for these things :) But dat's ok. Because if you ENJOY doing it, even if nobody praises you or affirms you for it, YOU WILL STILL DO IT :) And dat's the difference when we adopt the giver or taker attitude in life :)

Thank God, people have come up to me and expressed their thanks and praise for wat i have done. And it's a great feeling :) yes it is, it's like God's way of saying thank you through people. However, deep down, i always give glory to God for it because i know i could never accomplish these magnificent feats without Him.

Pst K is a great example of a giver :) Recently i spoke to him on facebook. After watching him on Daystar preaching, the crowd gave him a standing ovation. I immediately sent him a message to encourage him and congratulate him on a job well done. Do you know wat was his reply to me? It's not just wat he said but HOW he said it. The magnitude of that simple humble reply was like.. wow.. respect man, absolute respect to him :) He said "Thanks for watching. I just did my best in the Lord :) " and also "I can only do because you guys pray for me :) " R.E.S.P.E.C.T :)

So, we must ask ourselves, have we come to a point in life whereby everything is such a sacrifice dat it is a pain for us to do so? I think it must be to do with our motives for doing something :)

Recently, spoke to someone (you the man dude) and this person (we shall name him ABC) was wooing a girl. And he's a really nice guy, good guy :) And he was telling me about all the stuff dat he did for this one girl whom he truly loved and was willing to sacrifice almost anything for her. So he gave her gifts, bought her dinner, did acts of service for her, showered her with words of affirmation, spent quality time with her etc etc. Thoughtful, sensitive and respectful. A really almost perfect guy. He was ready to commit to this girl for life..

However, the girl for some reason unknown, didn't reciprocate any of those feelings for him. So i asked him, 'Hey all those nice things you did for her, must have been a huge sacrifice on ur part huh?'

And he smiled and said, 'Yea it's true all those things were a sacrifice. They were costly, in terms of effort, time and money. But I don't regret doing any of it for her, even if she didn't reciprocate to the same level.'

'Why?' I asked.

He replied, 'Because all that i did for her, i did it out of pure unconditional love. Even well knowing in my heart and mind, that there was a chance that she wouldn't accept me for who i am, i still went ahead and did all those things. Was I disappointed? Yea of cos, things didn't turn out the way i had hoped they would, but then again, you can't force someone to love you. God has no wish that any of us be condemned to hell, dat's why he sent Jesus to die for us. Jesus knew full well, that there was a possibility that there would be people who would not accept Him as their Lord and Saviour even though he went to the extent of dying for them, but He nonetheless went to the cross for them still.'

I was stunned..

He continued, 'Likewise, in this same vein, i chose to love this girl and woo her the best i know how. Whether she accepted me or not, was another thing. I never expected anything back from her and i have no regrets doing all the crazy things i did for her out of love :) '

Wow.. RESPECT man.. RESPECT :) I'm sure he enjoyed every single bit of it and it was never a sacrifice to him. He would gladly have gone on to do these things again and again. I was so touched, i nearly cried hahaha! :) My friend is happily single and available (Bro, you'll find a great girl soon, I'm sure of that).

I thought about the craziest thing i ever did for a girl i really liked.. And dat was baking a cake for her for her birthday.. It was a costly affair i tell u, the utensils, ingredients, garnishings, decorations and wat not.. crazy.. :)

But never did i feel dat it was a sacrifice on my part :) The entire process, wrought with difficulty and all.. but would i do this again for someone i really love? Of cos! Without a second thought hahah! On hindsight, i must say dat all these things serve as a practice for me, so dat the day i finally get attached and married, i would be well trained to express unconditional love haha :D

Yea, so well, to sum it all up.. i think this entire weekend has been a blast :D I'm tired physically, BUT i really really love doing wat i do in church ;) And guys, BE A GIVER :) It pays :)