~Adios Amigos~

I'm taking a blog hiatus for a long long time. dunon when i'll return but yea i think it's necessary.
it's after today's lesson dat i made this decision. told boon chye about how i wanted to make it to
the Music & Drama Company in NS and he was very serious about it and the worse case scenario
is dat i get the earliest intake in august which effectively leaves me with less than 8 months to make
an impression before i lose it all..

He said dat i HAVE to get into the band by hook or by crook and there's no other option. otherwise
all these months of trainin will have gone to naught in 2 and a half years. So i have to get into MDC
by hook or by crook.

I realise dat i have wasted alot of precious time even right now bloggin this is time wasted but it's
just necessary to leave a note. I've been wasting alot of time doing other unimportant stuff on top
of the hours i allocate for practice. 5-8 hours not enough.. throughout the bus ride home i was thinkin
hard about wat to do and it seems dat increased hours is the only effective way.

Dat said, i must follow a strict regiment of trainin dat is sure as hell gonna be tough to follow cos i'll
definitely be tempted into doin other stuff along the way dat will hinder my progress. like gettin stuck
to the comp etc. I'll try extremely hard to stay away from:

1. TV
2. Computer

and yea.. dats about it.. the amount of shit dat these 2 can distract you from is incredible.. i simply do
not have time to screw around with these...

Dat said, i will do my best to follow this regiment of rules. stay away from the game of love cos it aint
time yet. stay away from distractions. stop going out too often already. start increasing the hours of
practice. i've been playing since like 11am onwards till 6 plus. dat's like bout 5 or 6 hours? dat's not
enough.. i wanna do from 9am all the way up till 9pm. dat's the fixed time belt of practice. but after
9pm and late into the middle of the night, i might consider practising then also, in the quiet of my room
of cos. wat worries me is how my embouchure will cope with the strain and more imptly whether the
neighbours will complain. i guess i'll find a way somehow. when there's a will there'll be a way :)

I guess it's all about the discipline and whether i possess dat sorta discipline or not and dat's the
biggest challenge for me. cos my time is short and my goals are set. i've already sorta displeased
certain ppl with my attitude where it concerns the sax but really, frankly, it is my life and it's my future.
if i dun take charge of it, no one's gonna do it for me. aint nobody gonna bring in the dough for me but
myself ok? to those ppl out there who might have felt dat i sorta put my sax first before frenship, well
it's like this: I dun disregard our frenship and i try to give you a listenin ear as best as i can but please
understand dat i am doing this for the sake of my future and my passion. i really dunno how to explain
why i'm doing this but yea, i guess the price of success is high.. and if i have to take dat road then i will.

Not only frens but family as well. sometimes i really think dat i may be losing out on many things rite
now, time with frens.. time with family.. those are certainly impt things.. and i will do my best to make
time out. it's about the discipline i guess.. the question is will i have dat? well, we shall have to see.

I remember one of the very first things dat Boon Chye told me was this: "If you wanna become as
good as me or better, then you must work as hard as I do or more." or something to dat extent i think.
well, i ask myself whether i have dat will, whether my body can take the immense drilling. how will my
my life be affected if i undertake such a task? i seriously dunno. but i wun worry about dat now and to
know whether i can achieve dat, i'll have to try it out if not i'll never know whether it can be done or
not. at the end of the day, i wanna be absolutely sure dat i am one step ahead in reaching my goals
and i just cannot wait for the day when all these effort will finally payoff and when dta day comes, I
will be glad dat the decisions i made, i did not regret. dat's the bottomline, no regrets in watever i do.

I seriously hope dat these short/mid term efforts will pay off so dat i can finally decrease the hours of
practice and devote more time to other areas of my life. it's a hard decision and sometimes i get so
stressed up over this MDC/NS issue. i sincerely believe dat there are ppl out there who have total faith
in me and my abilities and they will understand why i do certain things. i just pray and ask dat ppl will
understand these extreme measures dat i undertake. it's not gonna be forever of cos haha! i still need
a life ya know? :P anyway, this is the last time i'll blog for a very long time to come~ i'll still go online on
alternate days to get away from the intensity of the practice :D so yeah adios for now~

saxophonically,
ben :)