I Spoke to God This Night

ok first thoughts..i should be asleep now actually. By 12am to be exact becos i'm supposed to be wakin up early tmrw? BUT tell me, how does one sleep when the heart has sumthin to tell and it is throbbin..throbbin..throbbin until it seems as if it is gonna blow up right where u are sleepin..? Alright, i know alot of ppl wanna kill me for talkin about the topic of yes, love. Well..it's my blog lah, if u think wat i say makes sense, then go ahead and read it, comment on it, give me feedback, let me know wat u think etc etc.

Ian posted this question on his blog: What is it like to fall in love?
check dat out ;)

As for me, i've got more questions to ask.

1. What is love?
2. Why do ppl fall in love in the first place?
3. What does a relationship mean?

First up, love..the definition of love is subjective. What's love to u then? wat makes love love? when two hearts come together? or is it the lil seemingly insignificant things dat u do for somebody? or is it when u buy lots of stuff for a person? Or maybe..it is dat special moment or those special moments u share with a certain person? chemistry? well some ppl would say dat u cannot define love. I beg to differ becos i believe dat becos u as a human being are capable of love, then dat's ur definition for u already.

ok, i'll like to share my opinions and views on this. I.e my own definition ;) some ppl would say dat i sure as hell aint qualified to speak my point given the kind of "experience" or "years" dat i have. well, lemme tell ya, a man like Jesus was already preaching in the Synagogue when he was ONLY a VERY young man. at this point of time, if u think u can't learn anything from wat i'm about to say (i havent started yet ;P), then quit reading.

My definition of love
Firstly, i wanna quote wat Zaki shouted out becos dat is wat i wud use to define love. Here goes:


Love... what is love? It is the wolf that awaits its prey in the shadows, ready to spring its fangs in the neck, so it can feed its offsprings. Love... what is love? It is the soldier who lies flat on the ground above the tossed in enemy hand grenade, so his comrades can live to fight another day. Love... what is love? It is the undying ethic that stretches far beyond the horizons, defining the clarity of day and night, the sun and the moon, the clouds and the stars, so the prophets of yesterday can replenish the "Good" of their people and lead them to a place of hope, The Promised Lands. Love... what is love? It is the ultimate sacrifice that one can make in this mundane world for the significant other, enriching the self and the other with a powerful knowledge that there is life out there that cares, sparking new hope for a better tomorrow. Love... what is love? It is the light that pierces the darkness, letting the eyes see for the first time the beauty of God's handiworks.

I like this quote becos yes, love is all about sacrifice, something dat is done without expectance of reciprocral action. You love because you just do it out of love! the ethic behind loving is just simply becos of love and for love. Love is sumthin money can never buy. Have u asked urself y do u even love ppl? Have u? i havent. is it wrong or do u have to be guilty becos u didnt ask questions like these? definitely not.


The reason i dun ask myself y do i love somebody or somebodies for dat matter~ is becos it is like a natural thing isnt it? just like breathing..u dun question y u breathe but u know y u do becos u if u dun breathe, u die, as simple as dat. And if u dun love...hehe..DIRE consequences await u.. ;)


I love not because it is a chore, no, i love becos love makes me who i am; it defines me; it makes me me; it sacrifices for me. And thus, i love, and i sacrifice and i suffer, and i pain, and i laugh, and i cry, and i live, and i die all for the sake of love. And the day I am devoid of all love will be the day nobody will ever recognise me ;) like a charred dead body, burnt beyond recognition. A Man without love, is no Man at all.

Why do ppl fall in love in the first place?

Alright to those in relationships currently and for those of u who have been in relationships. Why did u ever fall for that person whom u fell for? What was it dat made u wanna take dat leap of faith? and it sure is a helluva HUGE LEAP dats for sure. Did the person make u laugh all the time? Did he/she buy u all the things u ever wanted? The person has dat hot bod dat u can't wait to get ur hands on perhaps? You both just share an unexplainable sorta chemistry?


For me, when i got into a relationship, i did so becos i told myself dat i have all these love within me and i cudnt be so selfish as to keep it all to myself hah! Ppl asked me wat do i expect out of this relationship and from deep down, i tell them dat hey, expectations are the exact things dat dun get u anywhere, cos if u can't get somebody to fit into ur expectations then..well..things just dun work out. I think, dat having expectations of somebody, for example, "oh he/she must be of a certain height or he/she must be of certain age or he/she has to fulfill all my dreams and wat not", will only serve to create more unhappiness becos in doin so, u make the other person bow down to u, like u make the other person conform to wat u want the person to be and not wat they truly are. There is no equality in such a relationship. No unconditional sacrifice. Is love supposed to be like dat? type casting a person to fit ur mould? lemme know wat u think thanx ;)


Did i have any expectations? any yardstick? any benchmark? any..watever u wanna define it as? I honestly say no i did not and i do not have expectations becos i used to have them, and they were nothin but trouble for me *smilez*. I believe dat at a certain point after u got to know someone, u dun love them for wat they are on the outside ONLY, BUT ALSO u learn to love them for wat they are inside as well~ and dat said, u love them for who they are, and wat they are, and who they will be (hey ppl change man! so do moi! and u love them whether they change for the better or not!), and wat they will be. It comes to a point where nothin else matters..be it race, religion, financial status, gender orientation, lifestyle, habits, idiocyncrasies, parental approval OR disapproval, or even when the sky drops down on u and yes i mean dat. Dat's the power dat love has on me. For love, i will live, for love, i will die. As straightforward as dat ;) Let's talk more shall we?

What does a relationship mean?

Now, things get interestin here~ haha it aint an "I" thing, it aint a "You" thing, it is an "Us" thing, it is a mutual thing, DAT IS WAT a relationship is all about ;) simple concept? A bond dat 2 share, a bond dat has 2 ppl belonging to each other. For the whole 18 years of my life, it has been pretty ironic dat i've had ppl come up to me and ask me, "hey ben, how do i make a relationship with somebody work out?" and this is wat i have to say to them, "Lemme ask u then, how do YOU BOTH make a relationship with EACH OTHER work out ;) ? see the emphasis on the mutual aspect? becos dat is wat all relationships, frenships, family ties, sch and work ties are! They all involve 2 ppl or more~ i'll only talk about BGR becos dat is a hot topic i believe and hot in the sense dat it is very very impt in our lives? and it is definitely of utmost importance in mine as well~


It is ALL about sacrifice, the wise restraints and the ethics behind it, AND most importantly HONESTY~ Yea sure we know how to exercise a wise restraint, sure we can sacrifice and sure we can be honest~ the question here is, "how can i be honest with a person and not end up hurtin dat person? how can i compromise and sacrifice for somebody and yet remain truthful to my own principles? Ahhh..now we see..and now we see dat it is not easy to sacrifice at all..it is not easy being honest as well! It is difficult come on! Who ever said dat a relationship is a bed of roses? hell man, life can be fuckin sucky too ya know? so wat makes relationships any the less rocky and painful? I know lots of ppl, they break up and end up breakin each other's heart becos somewhere someplace, sumthin went wrong..and in relationships, ANYTHING can and POTENTIALLY WILL go wrong!~ i'll be honest with u, think bout dat one~ you break up becos..someone doesnt fulfill ur expectations (i dun like dat word hah), u break up becos..one of u is goin overseas to study or sumthin for a long long time like 3, 4 years? maybe longer? you break up becos of the mundane things like a heated argument, on who is supposed to be payin for dinner, or who earns more money, or who is perceived to have put in more effort in the relationship, ya know stuff like dat~


Am I facing problems in my relationship? hey, on an everyday level, which of ur relationships, bgr or other dun have any problems at all?
I believe dat problems can be viewed as lessons ;) think bout dat perspective. It is how u wanna see it ;) do u see a diversity of opinions as a hot bed for argument? or do u see it as a rich source of constructive knowledge dat both of u can talk about and learn about? do u see dat lack of sensitivity or tactfulness as sumthin dat u have been borned with and dat there's absolutely nothin dat u can do about it? or do u believe dat u can change and u can change for the better if you choose to? I've seen couples with a hellotta difference in lotta aspects. Those are the couples whom the general public would probably term as Mis-matched couples or couples with no chemistry dat sorta thing. But wat amazes me is dat these couples have gotten together and still remain together as one unit. now dat is sumthin to me~ I spoke to one of my frens and i asked him, "so wat makes u both tick huh?" and the reply i got was this: "It is effort on both parties, you try and u work hard to make things work out becos u know dat the person u laugh for, the person u cry for, the person u live for, and the person u die for, is totally worth every single bit of effort and pain dat u put in."
And yes, you'll come to a point where the material, mundane things in life just pale away. You come to realise dat when these things are passed through the fire of testing, they will blow up in flames and turn into ash. My frens, the material and mundane things, they WILL NOT withstand the fire of testing. Wat will pass thru dat fire and emerge STRONGER will be love, true love.


You guys heard of stories like the rich man's daughter falls in love with the pauper's son and they live happily ever after dat sorta fairy tale like thing? Hey i'm tellin u dat fairy tales..they arent very different from reality ok? such things happen and lots more weird, almost unimaginable things happen in fairyland just like they do in the real world~ How does a rich gal fall in love with a poor guy? how do ppl from different religions fall in love and stay in love? how does a fishmonger marry a CEO of some advert company or sumthin? How do ppl with different lifestyles live and die for each other? How do ppl with a humongous age gap love and marry? hard to imagine? hard to believe? believe it~ such things are possible ;)
I believe they are possible~ i believe dat i can put aside my own plans, my own desires, my own wants, my own needs and my own life. It is whether I CHOOSE to do so or not ;) i dun think dat ppl will never change. onli God never changes. Ppl change, for the better, for the worse. For the sake of who? not for myself, but for the person i love, the ppl whom i love.


For her, i will sacrifice, becos my wants can come second place. For her, i will learn to tolerate, becos she is not perfect.
For her, i will fight, becos i will protect her with every last bit of my life. For her, i will compromise, becos i want her to be happy~.
For her, i will learn to learn, becos she has LOADS to teach me. For her, i will teach, becos she has alot to learn from me too~.
For her, i will weep, becos her pain is mine as well. For her, i will laugh, becos her joy is mine too!
For her, I will rebuke, becos i am accountable to her. For her, i will let her criticise me, becos i know she cares for me.
For her, i will tease, becos there's sumthin attractive about her!~. For her, i will humble myself and swallow my pride, becos i am human and i make mistakes as well~.
For her, i will give in, becos she is special. For her, i'll NOT give up, becos she didnt give up on me.
For her, i will live, becos she lives in me~. For her, i will die, becos she is the world to me.
And for her, i will love, becos she loves me and i will love her becos i want to and i can and i am able to~ And i will love, all in the name of love.

If any of u found anything written dat could answer the problems u face, drop me a line~ i dun have answers though, and i dun have solutions for u. All i can do, is to provide you with my perspective, dat u may learn certain things and dat u may teach me as well~ Becos in YOUR relationship, the solution doesnt lie with me, it lies with the BOTH OF YOU *smilez* remember dat~